im so bored .
i want to speak up .
but i have no one to talk onto .
i have no 'friends' here .
im a loner . totally alone and lost [forever]
i want to spend my life with someone who can 'understand' me .
the on who will not blame me of my 'sensitivity' and 'dramatic emotions' .
the one who can understand that a girl is an 'emotional' person,
no one could change that . in any single way,
a girl is a girl; who cries like a baby when she's hurt ..
who chills like an ice when she's cool ..
who says 'she is ok' although she totally 'dying' ..
a girl is a girl, although they say they can do everything ..
THAT'S WHAT i WANT ..
!~*~!
i found this 'DA WHO' who made me feel so special .
he's a dear friend of mine [before]
when he walked away, we never been close again .
although we're so-called 'friends' by my [x] bestfriend .
.*.
this 'DA WHO' is so weird .
he looks like he's always 'mad' and 'badtrip' .
but when you started to talk to him,
he 'smiles' and 'chills out' .
he never ask for material things,
he said that im the one who opened his mind ..
his heart .. his secrets about himself .
and im proud of being 'open-minded' .
...
one day, when im with my boyfriend ..
i found him alone, while me and my bf ran away ..
i though of going back, but my bf .. he's going to be mad ..
[not to me, but to 'DA WHO']
...
2 weeks after the break-up,
'DA WHO' helped me get over it .
he always cheer me up and smile with me .
i showed him the world .
one day, i realized that i really love 'em .
i told him that 'i love him' ..
he said that 'he feels the same way' .
watta nice night for me .
[dec.15.07]
...
those weeks are so great .
he's with me, but no relationship at all .
just friends . friends . friends
people thought that we're together,
but i WE NEVER thought about being together ..
one obstacle was this 'old crux' of him,
i thought he still like this 'gurl',
but he explained it one by one ..
i, UNDERSTOOD it .
[no choice]
...
many.many obstacles and fears ..
until one day ..
he started to crumble up .
he never talk to me unless i talk to him .
[feb.03.08]
this day came and he said this infront of people ..
[damn!~damnyou!~]
..and i felt so stressed that day .
i locked inside my room, cried and cried .
i asked myself,
"what did i do to him? why?"
...
further days ..
his sister texted me,
she said that i should keep distance from his brother ..
and i did ..
...
[aug.29.08]
my birthday blast in one of the resto .
me and my bestfriend decided to buy tickets for bus .
there he was sitting under the tree .
my bestfriend told him that i want him back ..
but as a friend ..
he agreed and said he's not mad at all ..
[but my question is not answered.. WHY DiD U SAY DAT?]
still 'blank' .
...
my bestfriend told me that he said this..
BF: do you still love her.?
'DA WHO': (1 mintue) yeah.
...
SO WHAT NOW?
...
'DA WHO': can we just talk in ym?
...
but he's not around .
when he is, he is invisible to me .
so how could we talk ?
...
he's not nice to me recently .
not at all .